The anxiety and pressure comes out of the shadows and points a menacing finger in my face...
It comes to a halt when I'm scarfing down my gluten free waffles so I can feed a crying baby and my husband says 'I miss you'.... and after my defensiveness wears off I wonder if it's too late because I can't remember who I was before all this panic took me hostage. He says 'You used to be able to accept things when they were hard...' When did I let feelings of failure take the place of contentment. Simple things are wearing me down: messy floors, dirty dishes, crying baby, restless toddler, all those things I'm NOT doing because that's not real life right now. Real life looks a bit more like this....
|Sometimes dinner is served a la big chillin|
|So hard to put down a baby that is finally sleeping and looks to peaceful|
|I like to think it's 'educational' if I leave the closed captions on|
|Toddler buffet? I think so....|
|Getting ready with a toddler: another reason I wait til they are sleeping to get dressed for the day|
|Initiate phase two of demolition mode|
I might not be a good mom, but I will be good enough.