Weird Things I've Been Googling {Oil Pulling. Cleaning Couches. Placentophagy}

I've said it before; if you saw my Google history you might not be my friend. Your eyes would narrow and then broaden as it dawns on you that I actually am that weird girl who remembers everyone’s' names and quietly starts singing to herself when triggered by key words.  But hey, I can make a mean soy latte and will nod thoughtfully as you recount your dream from last night and won't judge when you confess you only shave one leg so you never feel like you are sleeping alone...oh you don't do that? Oh, I have never done that either..... So I'm weird, you're (less) weird, we are all weird. Here are some weird things I've been Googling....

Oil Pulling

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Short Story: It is claimed that swishing oil in your mouth first thing in the morn helps to improve oral health, detox and treat ailments (such as sinus congestion, diabetes, asthma).

Long Story: This is an ancient Ayurvedic practice from India.  The idea is to swish oil (e.g. sesame   sunflower, coconut) through your mouth for at least 15-20 minutes first thing in the morning. It is said that the oil will break down plaque and draw out toxins and bacteria in your mouth.  Since the health of our mouth can be related to the health of out bodies some advocates claim that it will help to treat systemic ailments such as migraine headaches, bronchitis, diseased teeth, chronic blood disorders, arthritis, eczema, heart disease, kidney disease, meningitis, and women’s hormonal disorders.  I looked for studies to back up these claims and there hasn't been much research done on these topics.  I did find a couple studies that do show a strong link between oil pulling and the reduction of bad breath, plaque and gingival inflammation.  There are also a lot of people online who have tried it out and reported that they notice feeling more energetic and that their skin and teeth have improved in appearance. Click here for more info.

What do you say? You up for trying coconut oil mouthwash?

Cleaning Microfiber Couches

Short Story: Clean your dirty couches with rubbing alcohol

Long Story: It’s the day you realize the sippy cups are all leaking when every drink stain and greasy finger print dries into a mark on your microfiber couches. Then the next night your kid pukes on them. Or maybe it’s just me. I’ve tried every liquid and powdered remedy to get the smell and stains out and then Pinterest came to the rescue when I found THIS. Here are my before and afters!

Placentophagy

Short Story: Betty Draper ate her placenta, should you?

Long Story: January Jones brought lacentophagy (consuming your own placenta) to affront when she had hers dried and put into capsules. Why? There are claims that doing this is a great source of protein and contains hormones that help to reduce post partum depression.  I’ve looked for studies on this, and the research I could find shows what Wikipedia said all along, that women who consume their own placenta reported ‘improved mood’ and ‘increased energy’ after childbirth. Critics will point out that this could be a placebo effect. Seems like there is no way to ever know. How does a new mom know she has ‘more energy’? And a ‘better mood’? The most important thing, in my eyes, is the note from researcher, Mark Kristal, that heating, drying and freezing the placenta can destroy all the proteins and hormones.  
More from the skeptics, more from the from the believers

What do you think, do it gal? Don’t do it gal? 

Confessions of An Anxious Mom {My Guest Post at Tell Another Mom}

You know that lost feeling when you are spinning in the spiral of crumbs and tantrums that motherhood can be. Every smidgen of mothering goodness you had has depleted by tiny cave people and you wonder how you will ever find more.  Then an empathetic woman enters your life. Maybe a great friend, supportive sister, or a cashier at the grocery store. She gives you a knowing look, a few words of comfort or a hand on your shoulder letting you know that you ARE a good mom. Well imagine a whole website devoted to this. It’s like a hot, rose petal filled, candlelit bubble bath for you heart!

I am thrilled to announce I have the honour of guest posting with Janet at Tell Another Mom today. This is my first guest post and I am beaming the harsh spotlight on one of my hardest struggles in motherhood, anxiety; and all the corners of my life it hides in. Please go on over to Tell Another Mom to read it.

Giving Up My Career {Again} to Be A Stay At Home Mom

So, if you've read about me giving up my career to be a stay at home mom, then you are probably wondering why I'm pulling a Garth Brooks and 'retiring' again. Here's the background: when Levi was 10 months old  (I was edging into the second trimester) I went back to work two days a week. I would work around my husband's shift work so we could forgo finding a babysitter.  Hubby did a great job being Mr. Mom and it was a nice change to get up, put on matching shoes and hang out with adults all day (even if most of them didn't want to see me... joys of being an Environmental Health Officer).

Sorry Son, Mom is at work so DADDY has to clean your diaper art from the crib. 

At the end of the day things were generally a win-win. Dad and son bonding; mama wore a bra and got a paycheque; and, health hazards were stopped in their tracks! Me! Saving the town! I was a hero! (not, so much that last part).

Gradually the newness began to wear off as we realized this gig was just more to toss into the growing family calendar. I had to laugh when my husband pointed out that he could work overtime and make more money than his civil servant wife. I wondered how far I could stretch my maternity wardrobe to remain work appropriate. So, after six months of juggling our schedules and meeting the demands of wife, mother and employee I and went on maternity leave and had Lenayah.

Levi seeing me off to work on my first day

I planned to come back after six months, but that didn't happen. I knew that going back to work even after the full year wasn't really what I wanted and smiled when my husband said he was hoping I would say that. So, at ten months I gave my official notice.

I spoke with my boss who is a mom herself. She had never been a stay at home mom, she continued with her career and rose in the ranks. When I told her my intentions she told me she was jealous and that she wished she could do that. She stated something along the lines of your kids are only young once, enjoy it, work will still be here. For some reason this sat in the back of mind at the end of the night. Here is my superior, a colleague, a woman, a wife, a mom. She took the fork to the left I'm taking the fork to the right. She had the experience to look back on what her decisions were and offer me encouragement in mine. I wasn't looking for her approval, but it kind of helped me to shut the door on any doubts I had.

I followed up in true Lady Nerd fashion with my resignation letter by email:

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Gluten Free Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

You may have seen that magic Gluten Free PB Cookie recipe of 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar and 2 eggs. Yeah, it's amazing but it's too sugary for me.   Here is my spin on a healthy(ish) version:

RECIPE:
1 cup peanut butter (I used Adam's Crunchy)
1/2 cup coconut sugar (gives the cookies a very dark appearance)
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp coconut flour
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1/2 tbsp chia seeds
2 handfuls of chocolate chips (or however much or little you want)

Bake at 325F for about 15-20 minutes (or until done)

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Bad to Worse {Adore Your Pelvic Floor}

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I'm so happy I had a chance to have a VBAC but sad to say it has left me with one new addition to the list of 'Things Nobody Tells You About Having A Baby', which is: You might pee your pants after you've had a baby. There I said it! It happens. Don't feel alone or ashamed when you are stocking your bathroom cupboards and purse pockets with various sized panty liners and regulating your coffee intake (snort).  Take comfort in the fact that the legs crossed, muffled sneeze is a universal code to other moms, superseding all language barriers: I'm afraid I might pee a little.

If you have this condition you should talk to your doctor. You might learn there is such a thing as a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist. She will be soft-spoken, intuitive and dabbles in some new age energy healing you don't know anything about - but when she talks to you about it makes you all weepy and emotional.  She will give you some exercises to help strengthen your pelvic floor that might make your husband question why you are paying a professional who tells you to do this. Don't be ashamed to ask your husband, 'Can you just give me 20 minutes to myself without the kids? It is very important I practice my exercises so I can stop peeing a little and maybe feel a little sexier and MAYBE have a little more sex with you!'  This is a cursed cycle though. You definitely lose that loving feeling when mandatory exercise and thinking are involved. Sadly, the action you get is not about intimacy and passion but is more comparable to a technical meeting on the ligament structure of the core muscle groups of the blah blah blah... oh wait, I fell asleep.

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You might be amazed at all the muscles you didn't realize were lining the forlorn battlefield of your vagina.  You might learn that it is more than just kegels to maintain your business! Your hips are out of whack from toting a toddler, your uterus is a deflated ballon and your dignity hitched a ride in the rush of amniotic fluid that vacated the premises months earlier. But don't be ashamed. It could be worse.......

Your parents could ask you what medical appointment you are in town for. Because you aren't ashamed you tell them you are seeing a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist and hope they will fill in the blanks and graciously offer you an out by changing the subject to the adorable reason(s) you have this condition. So what's worse than that? How about your Dad responding with a casual offer of your Mom's 37 yr old set of 'candles' to help you with your pelvic floor exercises.

Not.enough.bleach.in.the.world.

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